What is handfasting?

What is handfasting?

This is a frequently asked question, along with what is ring warming? (This is often accompanied by smirks and giggles!).

To put it simply, they are beautiful, visual, symbolic acts that can take place at celebrant-led weddings. Since legal restrictions don't bind us, we can carry out any symbolic rituals you desire.

Handfasting has its roots in Scotland; it is an ancient Celtic, Norse, and Wiccan tradition in which a couple's hands are tied together with a cord, ribbon, or cloth to symbolise their commitment to one another. It's viewed as a visual representation of their union.

A fun fact: this practice is believed to be the origin of the phrase "tie the knot. "

When the ceremony began in Medieval times, it indicated a couple's intention to get married. Legal registrars were scarce, and couples often had to wait long periods- sometimes even months or years- until one would come through their village. Thus, the handfasting ritual served as a symbol of intent, much like a modern engagement ring. (A few ribbons are a lot cheaper than a diamond ring!)

This allowed couples to move in together and become intimate, as waiting a year was a considerable amount of time, especially in medieval England, where there was little else to do.

The thread used originally represented the two families, and when it was entwined and displayed in their home, it symbolised the unification of these families. Nowadays, you can select the material, colour, and style of the cord or ribbon to reflect your personal tastes or even the colour scheme of your wedding. It also means that you can take the knotted ribbon home and always have a visual reminder of your big day, as well as a great conversation starter in your house.

 The popularity of Handfasting has become quite trendy again due to its depiction on TV and in films. In the 1995 film Braveheart, William Wallace and Murron, the love of his life, are united in marriage during a Handfasting ceremony. More recently, Game of Thrones has also featured wedding scenes that include Handfasting.

 With the growth and popularity of festivals, such as Glastonbury, many couples are creating WEDFESTS or LOVEFESTS in fields, woodlands, forests, or private grounds to celebrate their love, opting for a more informal and intimate celebration rather than a traditional formal wedding. A handfasting is perfect in these celebrant-led celebrations of love.

 So now you know why you might want one; let’s discuss what actually happens during the ritual.

 We will talk about your options and practice the ritual before your big day. You can choose to bind with one hand each or two. For one hand, you would stand side by side and hold your arms together.

 If you choose two, stand face-to-face and clasp each other by the hands (or wrists, for a more secure grasp!)—many couples cross their arms, with one's left hand linking the other's right, creating an appearance like an infinity knot from above. This is a lovely moment for your photographer! There are no hard and fast rules; we will try it out beforehand and see what feels comfortable for you!

 As your celebrant, I will bind your hands together, creating an impressive infinity knot. You can then invite chosen family members or friends to come and add a final knot to the fastening.

However you choose to tie it, it shouldn't be so tight that you can't pull yourselves loose afterwards. As the knots are tied, some couples will plan to recite vows of commitment to one another. You then let go of your hands and step backwards, leaving a perfect infinity knot. It is a lovely visual spectacle and can be a real highlight of the ceremony. After the ceremony, you'll have your cord as a keepsake of your vows.

Handfasting is a lovely way to include people in the wedding. You can create ribbons in advance of the big day. I had a bride who invited elder female family members to afternoon tea, where they plaited and tied ribbons while enjoying fizz and chatting. You can ask children to collect shells and beads to add to the ribbons, and friends can tie knots. If you are having an informal, bohemian wedding, handfasting would be perfect. As your celebrant, I would walk you through it, practice with you, and help make your ceremony perfect. If you're still curious about ring warming, join me next week, and I will explain everything then.